Spousal Support— A Practical Mediation Guide
Spousal support— also known as alimony— can be one of the more sensitive topics during a separation or divorce. It’s emotional, financial, and deeply personal. But when handled through mediation, it can become a more flexible and respectful conversation. Here’s what you need to know about addressing spousal support in mediation.
What is Spousal Support?
Spousal support is money paid from one spouse to the other after separation to maintain financial stability. It is meant to balance the economic gap that can arise when one partner earns significantly more or has been out of the workforce. Based on the state that you live in, spousal support is determined by factors such as need, ability to pay and current lifestyle. It is a different payment than child support.
Support can be:
Temporary
Rehabilitative
Long-term or permanent
In court, a judge uses strict formulas and guidelines to determine support. However, in mediation, you and your spouse have more flexibility to create an arrangement that fits your unique situation. This can lead to a more customized and fairer outcome for both sides.
Key Benefits of Handling Spousal Support in Mediation
It is a more flexible agreement. Both parties can agree on terms that make sense for both of you, even if they don’t match what a court might order.
When both parties collaborate to determine the outcome, there is a less adversarial tone that persists throughout court proceedings.
Couples can decide to take a more creative approach by negotiating terms that work best for them, such as one partner agreeing to take on more debt in exchange for reduced support or a decreased payment over time.
Lastly, privacy is a key factor. When parties are able to negotiate their spousal support in mediation, they are able to keep their finances and personal matters outside of court and off the public record.
How to Approach Spousal Support in Mediation
Lay everything on the table
Bring all of your financial information to the session with you. Including, but not limited to taxes, pay stubs, and living expenses. Your mediator will inform you of the required documents to proceed with the session
Focus on need, not punishment
Spousal support is not about "taking all you can get” from the other person. It is specifically about making sure that both individuals can move forward with stability especially if there are children involved.
Think long term
Where do you currently stand financially? And will you be able to maintain that lifestyle? Consider whether either party may need to go back to school or if income changes. Discussing these scenarios will help you avoid conflict or request a modification later.
Put it in writing
Once you agree, the mediator will help draft a spousal support agreement. This will be included in your final divorce judgment.
FAQs
Can support be modified later?
Yes. In many cases, agreements can be revisited if circumstances change, such as legitimate job loss, retirement, or significant income shift. You can include the modification terms in your agreement during mediation.
What if you and your spouse cannot agree?
Depending on the complexity of your terms, Nexus Mediation will likely recommend a financial neutral to assist in the spousal support process. If all else fails, the issue can go to court, and the judge will determine the terms of the spousal support.
Spousal support does not have to be a battle. In mediation it becomes a conversation: What does each person need to land on their feet and how can you support fairness while planning for independence? With the right mindset and a skilled mediator, spousal support can be one of the most collaborative parts of your separation.
If you and your spouse are interested in mediation to collaborate the terms of your spousal support agreement, email info@nexusmediation.net or schedule your FREE consultation here.